Children Teach Themselves to Read

Peter Gray's blog 'Freedom to Learn' at Psychology Today has an essay up today called 'Children Teach Themselves to Read.' Parts of my last blog entry are included:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn

How my three unschooled daughters learned to read

It's evening and my daughter and I are walking home from her basketball practice. We've been discussing her two year old cousin and how she's learning to read. "She recognizes words," M says in excitement.

"Do you remember how you learned to read?" I ask my daughter, curious.

She was 'that kid' that takes you by surprise when you suddenly realize (and she's not even five years old!) that she's been reading, really reading for a while now.

Just like that.

Only, it wasn't 'just like that.'

She tells me,"I recall being in a room by myself with the door shut tight and sitting on the bed with a book trying to figure how the sounds go with the words."

As in the case of her cousin, my niece, the path to reading is laid out from the very start when children are around books and letters and words; when they are read to. Inexpensive materials like pencils and paper provide the child with ample opportunity to explore the written language.

From what I hear from the many people who have allowed their kids to learn at their own pace, 'cracking the reading code' and learning to write can happen anywhere between age 3 to age 15 (learning disabilities notwithstanding). Of course, some people never learn to read,schooled or not. I leave that to the psychologists to explain.

M has always liked letters. As young as age one, she would point out letters in books and trace them with her fingers.

Her older sister E, was partial to the letter W and would carry a puzzle piece of this letter around with her. "I love W," she would say.

E loved books and being read to and could memorize every single book we read to her from the age of 15 months! We still have the recording of her reciting from the Complete Mother Goose book- every single one of the rhymes!

She'd memorize abridged Shakespeare plays at age 6 and her comprehension and understanding of literature was so well developed by that tender age, I was reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy to her.

Today, at age 14 she has written a novel, she has won numerous poetry awards and is the top of her enriched English class (she now attends high school).

The thing is, she didn't learn to read until age 8.

Had she been in school, undoubtedly she would have been forced to at an earlier age.

As it is, I too am guilty of trying to 'make her' read when she turned 6, worried that the kids at school would be learning this skill and not wanting her to be left behind.

After a couple weeks of insisting she read and keep a journal with me spelling everything and she copying it all out, she told be flatly to "leave me alone" that she would have no more part in my scheme and she would learn to read when she was "good and ready."

So when she was 'good and ready' we would sit comfortably side by side on the couch and she would ask to read her one page (even if she could only figure out 4 words from the page!) before she settled down to hear me read the rest.

Today she reads about 400 books a year.

My youngest daughter learned to read from her desire to express herself through the written word. Starting from the time she could hold a pencil, be it writing a poem, a song, designing an ad, she needed me to tell her the spelling:

"How do you spell ‘beaver’ how do you spell ‘suggest’?

I would sound it out. Potato. 'Ppp.. ttt.. aay..ttt...ooo.'

In fact this is how she learned her alphabet. "What does a b look like?" (spelling ball). I would then draw a 'b' and say, "this is a b with a bbb sound."

It worked for us. She too didn't actually start really reading until about age 8.

This is her own testimony (written a few years ago):

"When I was little I saw my mother reading. When she read books to me, I thought ‘that looks so fun,’ so I wanted to read too. So I began with easy reader ones (from the library). At first it was with great difficulty, and I wished that I could hold the book in my hand and read just right away. But I couldn’t. Then I got into easy readers 2 and then easy readers 3. My mum helped me a lot with learning how to read. I’d point out words and then write them down and try to remember them. And my sister helped me. And when I was really little, my mum gave me cards with my favourite words on them. My sister helped me too. She’d point out words on a page and make me find the word on the page and read it. Or she would have me read a sentence by myself with her help. Finally, I started to read Pony Pal books which are for kids and have actual chapters in them."

For my part, I spent hours and hours and hours reading all kinds of wonderful literature to my daughters. I continue to enjoy bedtime story with my now 11 year even though she's a capable reader. Story time is a cosy time in the evening and a chance for me to read my favourites, and books that I approve of as opposed to some of the shabbier stuff (I think anyway) she picks up at the library.

It’s a wonderful time together and we can talk about the book we are reading- this happens naturally with out any kind of agenda.

Play with Me!

How much do you play with your kids?

This was the topic of discussion on a list I'm subscribed to.
Playing with your kids can be-face it-boring. Often, you simply find yourself staring into space and letting the child's voice bounce of you, your mind drifting to the things you need to get done.

Other times, you are too busy and you don't feel like it but you force yourself for fear of upsetting your child, or in the hope of preventing a fight between siblings. Perhaps you are motivated by guilt and so not playing with your child feels like neglect.
But your heart is not in it. You are not all there. So is that wrong?

Many will tell you that it is good to let children figure out how to be resourceful and entertain themselves. Some children are really good at this, others not so. My youngest daughter (aged 11) still wants me to play dolls with her, or 'hide and go seek,' her all time favourite.

While my husband and I absolutely encouraged our three kids to play on their own, we decided that we would always make time to play with them if they asked us to.

We made this decision because to us, play is fundamental to learning. Play is the imagination at work. Play is developing ideas, utilizing one's creativity and most importantly of all, a chance to strengthen the bonds between ourselves and our children.

Our oldest daughter is now 14 and all through her life she has role played 'characters' from her favourite books. Starting from Winnie the Pooh:"Do you love your bear, Christopher Robin?" (guess who was CR?), to the Paper bag Princess (guess who was the Dragon?), to Thomas the Tank Engine (guess who was Sir Topham Hat or Diesel 10 the bad engine?) to Lord of the Rings; she, Frodo, I, Bilbo Baggins, Saruman, Orcs and so on and so forth, my daughter's imagination has been fired by books.
She no longer needs me to be a character in her play acting:now she wants me to look at the drawings shes creates (involving Artemis Fowl and Holly or the Manga series with Roy and Reesa).

She wants me to help her sew a costume for the upcoming Anime North event in Toronto.

Her father and I support her creativity by encouraging her with her writing. It's still play but now as she gets older, it's starting to get called 'work.'
I want to continue being part of my children's play as they move into young adulthood and feel honoured and happy when I am invited to participate. It's a wonderful way to develop strong relationships.

punk take on high school

The Ramones' ROCK AND ROLL HIGH SCHOOL climax from the movie.

A Winter Walk Home

Here is a piece I wrote for my daughter a few years ago.
A Winter Walk Home.
By Beatrice Ekoko

Human child in fuscha pink coat. Your mother stands patiently, placidly by in well below zero temperature as you reach the summit of Snow Mountain, pass the Scourging Hot Deserts and back up the Mountain again.

“She must not look behind her, Mummy. Or she will fail!”

“She is doing it! So Mummy you must cheer for her.”

I cheer for her. I cheer for her all the way. You are on the peak of the Mountain again and the sun is so bright that it turns things into diamond- the treasure that you are after is glistening and sparkling all around you.

“She is brave Mummy. She never gives up.”

Yes she is. I admire her.

“Can I have my weapon now?” You ask me.

I hand you the long, thin piece of icicle, formed on and broken off a stationary car. It too glimmers like a fairy wand.

“She mustn’t look back mummy. If she does...If she does she will have to start all over again from the beginning. She must keep on the snow. So mummy can you look back for me?”

I can look back for you and in front for you. That is what I am good at. And if I see so much as a shadow approaching I will throttle what ever it may be.

The sound of a large machine being turned on outside the arena, startles you, momentarily stopping your adventure- or is this part of your adventure? “What was that?” you ask edging closer to me.

“It’s just the ice maker for the rink or something like that. Nothing to worry about.”

Your eyes search, looking for the source of the sound but your play draws you back, bigger and truer concerns urge you on, fulfilment of expectations joyfully self- imposed pull you back.

“With my weapon I can pierce someone’s tongue.”

Not mine I hope. Although my tongue pierces.

The weapon breaks and now we have two. “One for me and one for you.”

Together we continue, you the avant-garde, me on the side, witness to your progress.

A wall is covered with 3 inches of snow and now my daughter runs ahead her hand is trailing fast in the soft fluffiness, sprayed snow flying like mist over her and me. The pursuit is hot, the chase is now.

“She has looked back once. So she has lost one point!”

“Ah.”

The rules have changed. And will change again to meet the hero’s needs.

Your icicle drops again and breaks in three.

“Can we put them together?”

“No. But they are still beautiful”

“And we can get another,” you say, already over the loss.

“One I can use for a cane.”

“But it will break for sure!” I exclaim, then I regret it. You will find out for yourself how a delicate whim of nature is created for just a moment in time. How easily it breaks.

We reach home, the girl victorious. We must celebrate her. Alan, the janitor at the library told us earlier that day that if we spray a mist of hot water into the cold air outside, a shower of crystals will form on the mist’s descent. This is the proper way to honour a hero’s arrival.

teacher's who taught me weren't cool

High School Dropouts of Note

Here's an interesting piece in Forbes by Helen Coster.

She begins, "For some, diplomas are (barely) worth the paper they're printed on. These star entrepreneurs jumped right in." But we already knew that!

http://www.forbes.com/2010/01/30/millionaires-without-high-school-diplomas-entrepreneurs-finance-millionaire.html

Young People bypassing High School

A mother writes in about her daughter:

Unschooled until grade nine, Amica entered a local high school at the regular age. She maintained high grades, gained early acceptance to University of Western Ontario, and the like, but opted to head to Toronto to pursue a career in dance.

She had at this point already obtained a teaching certificate for both ballet and highland dance and had some teaching experience.

While dancing at a professional studio in Toronto and slugging it out working at the dreaded Gap to make her rent, Amica decided to try out some yoga classes at Toronto's premiere yoga studio, The Downward Dog.
Since classes were beyond her budget limitations she quickly established a barter agreement- trading cleaning duties for yoga classes.The studio soon offered Amica administrative work rather than cleaning duties, and since the pen is always preferable to the broom, she switched-up the barter and carried on.

The barter developed into a full-time, paying job. She advance her position to assistant manager of the down town studio location.

Successfully merchandising for two of the Downward Dog studio's there was discussion of Amica heading -up a new development for a Downward Dog store front, but having vowed to never enter retail again, Amica declined the proposal and the studio scratched the idea.

Amica began to teach community yoga classes. While working at the studio Amica dabbled in creating business cards for studio members, so when an issue developed with the studio's regular graphic design person, they asked her if she might try her hand at some of this work.

The graphic design work quickly developed into Amica's main focus.

Currently, Amica works full time doing graphic design for the Down ward Dog studio from her home in Toronto, she is one of the studio's faculty teachers, conducts a weekly yoga class and assists workshops.

Most recently, Amica returned from a trip to Thailand where she assisted teaching at the world renowned, Thailand Yoga Centre. Amica is twenty-four years old.

dark sarcasm in the classroom

This may be the most sinister anti-school song ever recorded...?

i can see you in the morning when you go to school

school's out glams!

A recurring theme in rock music", school as boring, uninspiring, remote from creativity, oppressive, and a waste of time.

Young People bypassing High School

A Dundas, Ontario mother writes about her 17 years old daughter who has been home educated all her life:

She works in the kitchen at an upscale restaurant in the pastry division. She started out with simple tasks like making cookies but is now learning bread baking and more complicated desserts.
She also worked for 6 weeks in November/December for Ontario Ballet Theatre- two weeks of preparing and 4 weeks touring Ontario. She was a paid dancer, last year she was a paid apprentice for them.
She auditioned for Boston Ballet very recently and was accepted into their summer program for this summer.

She also intends to audition for some programs for next year including the Alberta Ballet and American Ballet Theatre and Kirov in Washington and possibly others.
She has performed for her ballet school- Hamilton City Ballet- last year in the principal role of the full version of Coppelia and for six years before that in various roles, including solos.

Previously she performed with Canadian Ballet Youth Ensemble along with Ballet Ouest and with Ballet Nacional de Cuba.

She has trained at Hamilton City Ballet for 8 years now, and with the Ballet Nacional de Cuba in Cuba (the past two summers- 2weeks and 3 weeks).