The nature of unschooling

Feminism and Unschooling

Ever had people ask you, "How can you be a feminist and stay home all the time?"
 I have. Here is an interview I did with Becky Ellis in March 2008 for the Briarpatch Magazine.
What do you think the public perception is of homeschoolers, in regard to women and family structure? 
The response I often get from people is"Wow! you're brave!" This can mean that they genuinely think "I admire you. I wish I could do that."  This response, I think, is derived from an awareness of the negative aspects of school, it's not necessarily coming from a place that honours authentic learning- learning that honours the passionate interests of the leaner.
Or the response might mean, "You must be crazy; or stupid."  Seriously,  I actually had a guy say that to me.
Then they're thinking "Why the sacrifice lady?  Why would someone actually want to hang out with their kids for such a large hunk of the day?  Weird. Give up your freedom and your chance at a career?"
They forget that there are many ways to have a full and satisfying life. That children can be a significant part of that satisfying life.
 From a feminist point of view, do you feel that homeschooling provides benefits to mothers and/or children? Please explain:
If feminists care about a good future for women then looking at institutions that oppress and degrade women and children ought to extend into looking at the places where some of these have their beginnings; namely the school.
If, as a facilitator of your child's education you're modelling self-directedness and initiative to your child, and if you are encouraging your child's curiosity, inquisitiveness and questioning of all that they see, then I think you can raise some pretty tough minded feminist children -  female or male.
From a feminist point of view, do you feel that homeschooling provides any challenges for feminist mothers or to feminism?
The challenge for many women who have taken this route is that often the family has to live on less-money, as often they are full time at homeschooling or working part time hours (often from the home). In our society where worth (including self worth)  is measured by how much money you make you can see that homeschooling poses a problem.
Also if you are at home you tend to be making more messes and those messes need to be cleaned up. Who cleans them? The woman. Sadly, doing chores still does not inspire admiration. So you certainly don't get an overabundance of positive strokes.
 Is there tension within the homeschooling movement between feminist homeschoolers and more conservative homeschooling families? How do these manifest?
I don't know. I tend to have my own group of people my family and I do things with and they tend to be more of the unschooly type. I think the same can be said about conservative homeschoolers. So there is a fairly distinct divide, two largely separate spheres of influence driven largely, I'd venture, by isolationist and/or ideological parents, rather than the children.
Have you received (or heard of) critcisms from non-homeschooling feminist or other progressives about homeschooling? What are they and how did you respond? 
 I have heard this criticism: that the idea that it is an unfair situation since not ALL families can benefit from this kind of education (either they are economically disadvantaged, or there is illness, or less educated, etc), so why should only some?
The concern is that it is only an elite that can do this - and where is the social equality in that?  But I respond "it's like saying free people shouldn't have helped those escaping from slavery because not every enslaved person could be helped."  That makes no sense at all!
Please share any other thoughts, ideas, and experiences: 
Homeschooling or unschooling are just one way of getting educated, there's a lot of choice out there. It's great to have many alternatives available because we all learn differently and at various stages of our lives we might need a different approach. So that flexibility is great to have in the way culture approaches learning.
What I like best about unschooling is that my kids really have the freedom and the time to engage in meaningful ( to them) learning. For example, my nine year old has just come up to me asking me to help her with a campaign to alert residents of our town about the plight of species facing extinction due to climate change. They are curious and confident and not afraid of trying out new things. I think that's a pretty good way to be in this world.

Un-academic Unschooling

You can not 'make' someone un-academic or 'non-academic' because you unschool and do not follow standardised curriculum. 
People who gravitate towards the academics do so whether or not they are following a curriculum. Just as following a curriculum does not make you academically inclined-as 'school-thinking' relentlessly proclaims. 
Just as ramming kids into day care does not prepare children to be more successful in school- that is 'improve school readiness.'  The notion currently being bandied about in the news that hammering kids with facts at earlier and earlier age will have the positive effect of making them more academic, and as a result, do better in school, and go on to earn more money and... happiness-I guess.

But what about preparedness for actual life- of which school severs kids from-cutting them off from the ebb and flow of the day to day world?

Take my poor little nephew. Did I say little? My mistake. He is four; twice as old as the school pushers say kids should start school. In his school, they get homework. Empty pitchers all, these children are ordered to comb through newspaper size print and circle every letter 'a' those unfortunates can find. 

Rather than being busy at their play, making little games up, drawing, painting, kicking a ball around, singing, dancing, doing nothing, they not only have to do tedious busy work at school, but they must take it into their homes and do more of it.

I am reminded of the wonderful book I am reading with my daughter-Charles Dickens' Hard Times. I can't help thinking that all we have gained about children and how they learn-and how they are people too with rights and wants- all that is slipping back into that era so well described with Gradgrind and the Bounderby in two simple words: "Never wonder." Not when you are two, nor when you are twelve. Not when you are five and seventy. Just don't do it.

Of course this type of thinking can't understand that unschooling can produce an academically minded person- if that is what the person wants. And if that person is growing up unschooled, it is likely that they are not even bothering with the distinctions between academics and non academics. They simply go where they are interested in going.

This means that you can develop an academic interest where you might never have had such an interest before. Just as you can develop a non-academic interest when you are more inclined towards academics. One is not better than the other.

We are creatures of learning and thankfully, we have more opportunities today to explore and to discover our interests like never before- in spite of all this craziness going on with respect to early childhood education.

I look forward to a time when what will matter will be the individual's interest and that, like unschooling already does, what will be fostered in children is their passion -and not a label assigned to them.

Quality over Quantity in Education

Schooling. It's quantity over quality isn't it? Like mass produced shoes, shirts, furniture, sheets, cups and saucers. Make it as cheap as you can and sell at maximum profit.

That's okay. Mass production has its place but does it have to be that way with education?  As for me, I am always going to aim to get the best made shoes, the best tailored coat, the most carefully crafted bowls. I prefer to have one pair of well made boots then 10 poorly made, 'slave' laboured ones any day. I prefer to seek out that well made jacket in a used clothing store. I prefer to go without. And so it is with education.

I will pick a kid who knows one subject in depth- whose love and attention to the subject matter is evident. Whose careful and caring research into the topic reflects a depth of understanding-linking this knowledge to the wider context of the world around her.

They are making connections and evolving relationships with that interest as a starting point- their authenticity can not be dismissed.

I would pick that kid over one who has no love for anything. Who has a smidgen of knowledge on this and on that but cares nothing about anything much. That's the kind of kid that schools churn out everyday-ruining natural ability regularly. 

Look at the comments from this article to the question (posed to 13 year old kids)  "would you want to homeschool?" 

http://learning.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/10/would-you-want-to-be-home-schooled/

Notice the similarity in response to the question.

This is mass thinking at its worse.

These kids have no experience with home schooled or unschooled persons. They have no context whatsoever and yet here they are, voicing ignorant and hasty opinions- worthless half thought out ideas, non truths.

It is shocking to see the way these kids respond.

There was only one kid who was honest enough to say: "I don't know. Let people just do what they want to do."

This is a kid who was not afraid to say that the emperor had no clothes on.

What We Gain: Empowering Unschooling

There's all this chatter about the academics  that are lost when kids unschool; "This kid can't write worth squat. He's 12!"  A valid concern for those who are worried that unschooling ways will drag the country back into the Dark Ages. I hope they are as worried for those kids that go in for 12 years of public education and still can't read. 

The chatterers have no idea of the context this child is growing up in. If they were to wait a few years and revisit the child they might see another picture all together.

In the mean time it might be worth reflecting on the following: Who is this child? How is he? What is he doing? What interests him? Is he happily pursuing his interests? Is he getting out there and growing that interest and taking time to nurture it?  And equally important, is he confident and giving and kind?

Take my friend's son. He is 11. He enjoys playing sock puppets and stuffed toy animals with his younger sisters (9 and 7). By the way, the sisters sew these well crafted toys entirely by hand.

The nine year old has just launched a little business of her own.

Together they have enlightening games and stories that they continiously develop. He then takes these to the computer and creates animation videos.

His sisters in turn draw constantly. They tell complicated stories through art. Their work is sophisticated and detailed and beautiful.

How many 11 nearly 12 year old boys do you know who enjoy playing with their younger sisters? 

Both sisters are at the stage where they are breaking the reading code.

So okay- they don't know grade 3 or grade 5 math. Yet.  And I am sure that with her business venture, the 9 year old will grow her math sense at lightening speed.

In fact, as with my own daughter (who is working on her piano pieces for an upcoming recital as I write this)- now that she has decided she wants to try out high school next year, we have started working on math together. It's going well because she is motivated.

Aside from a few workbooks here and there over the years, she has done very little formal math-there was very little interest. I have always been aware of this but have kept the 'mat' door' opened- be it in making sure there are math opportunities (yes- even flash cards), math games, chess which she loves, art that has a mathematical component and even literature and ideas that are math based.

So what do we gain when we unschool?

We gain and retain a strong sense of individuality. Our kids need not hide who they are nor what they are interested in.They are free to be. This is empowerment at its purest. 

Halloween is for all ages!

"I hate Halloween," my sister says from across the miles,over the telephone. "It's all about sweeties and candies and sugar."

I use to lean more towards that opinion myself but my kids cured me and taught me to think otherwise. "Halloween is a  time to dress up and no one stares at you because it's normal," says my nearly 16 year old. 

Ever since she could talk and understand stories, she has gone around everywhere on regular days, dressed up in costume-role playing a 'character' from a book. So of course, she'll embrace an occasion where people can do this without getting funny looks and rude yells like "Halloween is in October!"

For her, it's exciting to see the costumes, going door to door for candy with friends and having a fun time.

Yes, she still goes out.

You might wonder what a kid this age is doing trick or treating.  At some point they have to stop right? I suppose so. But as she says, "We have a hard time, we 'teens'. We are not adults- we can't even vote. We can't do 'adult things.'  

"And yet, when we go out to trick or treat, we are considered too old. But really where is the harm? We dress up and with the rest of the community take to the streets for a night of celebrating the mysterious, the thrilling, the scary, the spooky." 

They certainly contribute to the ambiance.

How about the little 'ins? Isn't it too scary for them? 

I remember when one of my kids was two and when I took her out with her older sisters, she was terrified of the costumes. So we went home and the older two continued with their daddy.

We gave out candy in the safety of our home.

So Halloween? I ended up going with the flow and not stressing about the outrageous amounts of sugar they were eating. After all, it comes only once a year so why not indulge and go a little crazy with the rest of them?

Unschooling: When Couples Don't Agree.

You know what is right for your children and school isn't it. Your partner disagrees. S/He insists that school is were they ought to be. 

A friend of mine says, "He never agreed with my unschooling philosophy. I did it anyway."

Joanna's children are mostly grown up now. The three oldest are gainfully employed and the youngest, opting to go to highschool is in grade 10.

I ask her how it affected her relationship with her husband. "He didn't agree of much of anything I did. Unschooling was just another area. We hardly saw eye to eye on anything," is her response. 

Yet she stayed in the relationship because of her strong belief that unschooling would benefit her children.

"My husband blamed me for our lack of income. He thought I should be contributing."

Now that the kids are older, she has started the divorce process.

Does she have any regrets?

"I still believe in unschooling as the best learning strategy for my kids. Inspite of our compromised income, our stressed relationship, it was worth it."

Today she is working towards certification as a massage therapist. She cautions, "Make sure you have a way to make an income. I didn't and it was a hefty price to pay."

Another friend tells me that because of the respect her husband has for her, he agreed to give unschooling a try.

He read the materials she gave him, watched videos and even met with some of the "weirdos and freaks," that unschool.

He had to admit that the kids were normal-"bright and confident for the most part," my friend laughs.

When he met a family of grown unschoolers, he was sold on the idea. I think he just wanted to be reassured."

In the end, families will make decisions based on what they can tolerate. I'm lucky in that I never had the problem of an unwilling partner. I should say though, that I was very strong in my position. I never had doubts that unschooling was right for my family. I think that confidence in what I believed, backed up with evidence, made it easier for my husband to be open minded about the idea.

There is always a sacrifice, a price to pay, though. That could be quitting a day job as some have done to work at a home office so that they could be with their children during the day. Some work at night. Some do with less income.

When couples are not on board, it becomes difficult to unschool with one undermining the other.

As one father says, " Unschooling is life changing. It's effects are far-reaching-encompassing all areas of ones life. I couldn't imagine unschooling if my partner didn't support my thinking."

I'm back

Wow! Things have been so crazy that I have had no time to do some of the things I like best- like blogging. But I'm back now and plan to get more posts out more regularly.
For now, I want to share this video on a grown unschooler that I really enjoyed watching. Of interest to me was the question he asks," What would the world look like if every person was allowed to become a master in their area of interest, instead of average at everything." Well, it's not exactly worded that way but- you get the gist. I am obsessed by that thought and have been for years. What would such a society look like? I'm guessing it would be very vibrant; definitely exciting-never boring.

John Taylor Gatto: Send John a get well message today!

Are you kidding me? Jerry Mintz over at AERO sent on the Gatto update and here is what he writes in his newsletter;

Janet Gatto called to express John’s thanks for sending them over six dozen get well and appreciation messages that were emailed to the AERO office. She said it really made a difference and cheered him up since his recent stroke.

Are you KIDDING me people? Over six dozen get well and appreciation messages? Why isn't there over 60,000 messages urging him to get well soon?
This is the man who gave many of us courage to educate our children without schooling. Something doesn't jive with this picture. Jerry goes on to report from wife Janet:

He is improving day by day but still his great weakness in his left arm and leg. His handwriting is coming back to normal, and his voice is improving. The messages we received were very heartfelt and sometimes emotional, expressing the impact that John’s work has had on so many lives. People can send more messages to us if they want and we’ll see that they get them. Email to jerryaero@aol.com.

So do it today for John.

What am I doing to get there?

Here's an example of how a self-directed kid not only identifies her dreams, but acts responsibly by taking steps to realize those dreams.

My daughter (age 12) sat down one morning and on her own accord wrote up her goals and what she is doing to get there.

She identified who is helping her and what kind of support she needs in areas that are lacking the support. I've reproduced the original list here.

Soccer-What am I doing so far to get there?

Trying out for rep soccer. 

Things to help me get into the rep; Practice everyday.

Singing: I sing a lot. Things to help me get there; take singing lessons.

Dog Training:What am I doing to get there so far? Fostering dogs. I have been picked out by someone who trains dogs and she says I'm very good with them. She wants to show me how to train them. She will even pick me up.

Modelling/acting
I'm getting an agent. Ideas to help me get there: Practice my smile and rock the auditions.

Ethology: What am I doing to get here so far? Nothing. Ideas to help me get there -study animal books and movies.

Writing: what am I doing to get there so far? I wrote a story for the power of the pen competition. Ideas to help me get there: Keep writing and then try to get a book out.

Idle Unschooling?

You have a comment from "Is Unschooling for You?" to thank for this post.
Referring to becoming an unschooler, the comment reads, "It's clear that I still have work to do. I'm much less capable of idleness, leisure, and enjoyment of things for their own sake than I thought I was."

The way I see it, it's not so much "idleness, leisure and enjoyment of things for their own sake," as it is being moved to discipline by the pursuit of your own interest.
To a child, play is work. They don't make a distinction. They don't go around saying, "I'm going to lie around doing nothing."
This is true of creative/inventive people. They get caught up in what they are doing... and time goes by in concentration and focus.. for the love of it.
Some times, the love of a thing translates into doing work that is unappealing, that is difficult, that is frustrating but they'll do it because there  is a bigger vision that is guiding the effort.
This is the spirit of interest-driven learning.

Of course, this also means that there will be lulls, changes in rhythm and pace, days of what on the surface seems like nothing much is going on- all good.

The comment also talks about having to "fight my own inclination to be a joiner when it comes to all of the extracurriculars."

My reply to this is that you don't have to fight. There is nothing wrong with joining others in a worthy event/class/situation.
We all need community and learning in community is one of the joys of being a human being. When I was unschooling all three of my daughters, they all loved going to 'extracurricular' classes.

Being unschoolers, we didn't think of the classes as 'extracurricular.' They were just again, interests we were following: 'art class, or girls guides, of swimming, or basketball.'
My one remaining unschooler enjoys many different activities- especially soccer! Thank goodness she is a 'joiner'!!
So, I'd say to anyone who is starting off, read more about unschooling, meet other unschoolers, go out join activities in your community that you find interesting, bring your children with you!

Our John

By now most of you might have heard- John Taylor Gatto has suffered a serious stroke. Here's a message from Jerry Mintz at AERO: 

I talked to his wife who told me that John was in the hospital for a week and has been in a rehab center for three weeks. He has speech problems and problems on his left side. But she said he can walk 40 steps now and his speech is getting better. We need John to return to full health! If you would like to send some good words to John you can write to me and I’ll put them together and get the messages to him. Send to JerryAERO@AOL.com

I've been thinking about John these past few weeks-actually since school started. And I've been thinking about all that he has given me."Genius is as cheap as dirt." "You don't get an education. You take an education."
"Really educated people favor love, curiosity, reverence, and empathy rather than material wealth."
"Really educated people think for themselves; observe, analyze, and discover truth without relying on the opinions of others."

John is funny. I really appreciate his sense of humor in the discourse on growing without school (which can be become preachy or over-zealous at times). "Would you give your TV set to a person you know nothing about? Yet that's what we do with our children."

John tells it like it is: "if you weren’t earning money and adding value to the town by the age of seven, you were considered a jerk. I swept out a printing office daily, sold newspapers, shoveled snow, cut grass, and sold lemonade," he says about growing up in Monongahela, Pennsylvania.

"That was the American dream, that you could write the script to your own life"
Keep writing that script John!

Is Unschooling For You?

So you've heard about unschooling, read about, read some more about it and now you're wondering if unschooling can work for you and your family. There is only one way to find out. Do it. Take the plunge and start unschooling.  Don't get hung up on the word 'unschooling' though, if it makes you feel anxious. You need to simply not do school.

That means to begin with, you will not be giving your kids a curriculum to follow. You may have workbooks lying around for them to scribble over or paste in- or even do the work in them if they wish to do so. But insisting that they complete the content from A to B-or even in any form at all- is out.

Let there be tools: paper, paint, measuring cups and spoons, shovels, spades, brushes. Let there be music and dance and song, and nature, plenty of nature. Let there be lots of reading or reading to. Let there be lots of cooking and baking and raking,and sewing and growing, and pouring and digging, and building and taking apart and organizing and reorganizing. Let there be outings, and let there be staying at home, and let there be jumping and twirling around and let them be sitting staring at the wall. Let there be. let them be.
Instead, focus on unschooling yourself. It can take years -depending on how you've been schooled.
You're worried about income? I hear you. But that is the price you have to pay. You will have to do with less because you can't have your cake and eat it.

But you can still earn money. You can have a small business, or work part time, or work in the evening or in the morning. The key is flexibility.
Be flexible in your thinking and in getting your goals met.
Remember, you only have them for a little while. All too soon, they are off and away.
If you've considered all this and still do not feel sure about unschooling- then you can still adopt the unschooling philosophy to how you educate your children. Simply encourage their interests, give them lots of time to think and be alone ( avoid over-scheduling them).
Don't think twice about taking them out of school for a day or two to go on an exciting outing or to simply stay in bed that morning. The school will not burn to the ground because your child was absent.

Check out Grace Llewellyn and Amy Silver's Guerrilla Learning: How to Give Your Child a Read Education With or Without School. I reviewed it on this blog a few years ago and I still think it's one of the best books on education around.

September. Oh No! (School again)

 "School starts on Tuesday," my 15 year old announces. Say whaaaaaat?
How can this be? Mostly, why is she (as well as my 13 year old) going?
I thought that after their three year stint in institutionalized education they would have had enough. I thought that they would have had a taste of compulsory schooling to make them come running back to personalized learning. But no, something keeps them going back for more.
Routine? Predictability? 'Normalcy'? A sense of solidarity/needing to identify with the peer group? God knows but it sure is a damper. I was just getting into the holidays. I can't fathom that just as the weather begins to cool down, and the breathtaking colors of fall will be there for the looking at, they are heading to classrooms. Luckily, I still have one at home who has no intention of warming the school bench.
She will be reading on the couch, researching at her computer, playing soccer, volunteering in the community, training dogs and making art.Maybe when they see how much she achieves, how rich her life is, they might want out of schooling. Here's hoping!

Learning, learning everywhere! (Open source learning)

 Free online courses on computer science are being offered at Stanford. This, people is what I am talking about. The idea that education-higher education can be free is a reality. The face of education is changing and nothing, but nothing can stop the tide.
Here, I thought I'd include excerpts from a piece I wrote for this blog in 2009:

We have heard of the concept 'open source' in internet circles; anything can be learned over the internet. There is a new openness to educational resources; for example MIT (Open CourseWare) is now offering up to 1800 on line course materials for free - their motto being "unlocking knowledge, empowering minds."

Open source learning as coined by John Taylor Gatto is based on extending this idea to all learning, to everyone. The underlying premises of open source learning is that learning is available everywhere in life and not restricted to 'places of learning'-namely schools. Open source is happening everywhere. How can it not, with the internet as accessible as it is!

Resources of all kinds are every where to be found in the day to day world; people, art galleries and science centres, businesses, professional schools, museums, community centres, libraries.

Of course, much learning happens incidentally and by doing; through games, work, and living. You learn fractions by cooking, history by watching movies, writing by reading books.

Think of it as the newest, most cutting edge vision of the pursuit of knowledge and education. Much deeper than simply another novel way of doing business, it is a different business all together. Open source learning is a shift in consciousness- a fresh wind that is sweeping out the old ideas of what, how and when one should learn.

Questions arise that challenge the entire concept of education at it's roots; whose education anyway? Do we even have the right to impose on another human being our own ideas (the State's ideas, the religious establishments ideas...) of what another person should learn? Crazy? Going too far? Still it goes to the roots of freedom. And it's happening the world over.

As Gatto says, "Nobody can give you and education. You have to take an education." And that means taking here, there everywhere from the world around us, according to what we are interested in, passionate about and not what some one prescribes for us.

"We suppress our genius only because we haven't yet figured out how to manage a population of educated men and women. The solution, I think, is simple and glorious. Let them manage themselves."Gatto

The Uncluttered Mind.

My mind, these days is like a sift.Forgotten appointments, half thought out plans, a gazillion 'to dos' racing around my brain and I wonder what it would be like to have a silent mind; to not always be thinking about this that and the other useless thought. I want to stop the internal talking to myself and suspend all interference with that inner knowledge; that wisdom that comes to us when we allow ourselves to stop. Just stop.

To unclutter my mind. It is a challenge I have set myself. Amidst my crazy busy-ness I will carve out tranquil moments- five minutes here, another ten there. I will pause and not. I will not reflect. I will not fret. I will not plan. I will not worry. I will not hurry. I will remain still. What can be more important to well being than conserving energy?

And so with kids who are growing up with out school, I see in many cases that they already have the upper hand on being closer to the 'uncluttered mindset.'  There is a clearness of intention because they are less encumbered by the thoughts and intentions of others. This means that they can get to their thing more smoothly; they can hear dissonance quicker; they can cut out the crap faster.
They can be who they are sooner
.
Here's a nice quote from Elder's Meditation of the Day:

"Everything I know I learned by listening and watching." Vernon Cooper, LUMBEE

Great Spirit, help me this day to slow down. Help me to listen - quietly. Help me to watch carefully. Help me to listen to my inner voice. Let me listen and watch only the thing You would have me observe. Guide my eyes and my ears to be focused on You. Grandfather, love me today and teach me to be quiet.

Natural Hierarchy?

I'm watching a group of kids play. The older kids take the lead. They can do things better, more competently. The younger children look up to them, admire them and want to be like them.

I think of my four year old niece. She's in awe of her five year old cousin (another niece).  The five year old has excellent fine motor skills, can ride a bike, can read a little, can draw amazingly and can hula- hoop to boot. She's just... better as far as the four year old is concerned.

I notice the scorn displayed on a child's face when the younger, less competent kid "can't do it," or "doesn't get it."

I see the dismay, or the befuddlement but also the respect that the younger displays for the older.

Watching the interaction of the group of children, I start to wonder about natural hierarchy.

It is not that the more competent child (or adult for the matter) is a 'better person, or that he has some superior value as a person; it is simply that he can do things better at that time and is therefore the leader in that situation - as  that situation dictates.
At another time, in another situation someone else will be better, or more competent and then her leadership will be called upon-naturally.

So what I think I'm noticing and what I think I'm saying is that hierarchy is not necessarily a bad thing, nor wrong. It needs to be flexible and give way gracefully to the next person-as kids (and grown ups too!) become more competent; rather than hold on and become domination.

My daughter says, "Little kids should respect older ones."

"How do you figure?" I ask her (herself the youngest of three is eagerly moving into leadership roles in the family).
"Well, they shouldn't be coddled by their parents. They should be out there, trying to keep up with the older kids in the group. It keeps them in line."

She refers to an unschooling family we know of whom she approves of where the youngest- aged four-has more free range than most kids we know and who fiercely tries to be included and be part of his older siblings' action.

On a hike, the older kids will race ahead while he struggles to keep up. That's fine with the older kids. They don't tell him to go away but at the same time, aside from a backward glance or a "hurry up," it's up to him to keep up. Hard for him, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He is so proud when he manages to keep them in sight.
" It toughens him up," B insists.

Of course, I've seen it happen that when he needs help they will stop and help but as soon as he is okay they are back to their thing. These kids give no more help than is asked for. They do not try to control or belittle the younger kid, or boss him. They get annoyed only when the younger kid gets in the way of their activities-maybe because they just don't want to be interrupted.

"Otherwise they get too big for their britches and act like brats, " B says.

I find it fascinating. Maybe we all need another pair of eyes, someone we respect and who actually likes and respects us too, to slap us across the hand when we are 'out of order.' Even the thought of someone we respect and admire hearing or seeing us act a certain way isn't enough to stop us acting out and think twice before we let ourselves go.

I am large. I contain multitudes. Children already know this.

The world is vast. It is large.Out there, eternity surrounds us.
These were my thoughts as I gazed into the waters of Lake Simcoe a few weeks ago. In the early morning, the lake was so still I could see fish coming out to feast on the insects that had landed in large numbers over the water.
The fish moved in and out of the weeds and into the sand hollows, disappearing, reappearing, darting here and there.

We called the little children over to see. They gazed intently, whispering with intense voices, marveling at their discoveries, trying to identify what they were witnessing.
My thoughts turned to the aquarium the four year old has back at home with its sole occupant, blue fighter fish, Starbright. The tiny aquarium has nothing organic in it (fish excluded) and only a pink plastic castle and plastic weeds to embellish it.How unnatural!

Aside from the sadness that poor fish must feel, I think of the experience of viewing such a solitary fish in an artificial environment. What does that sort of setup have to do with how fish behave;-what a fish is? How can the paucity of  both this aquarium and of the experience of viewing  serve learning or understanding of what a fish is? Can a fish, without it's natural habitat be a fish? Doesn't it need the habitat to be a fish?

Even when the aquarium is bigger as it is at the public library where children and their parents can see bright coloured tropical fish-again these fish are exhibiting only a fragment of their 'fishness' because they are not interacting with what should be their habitat.

We can argue that the aquarium is better than nothing. But there is  a great deal that is wrong with putting creatures into drastically transformed environments and spaces that they do not belong in and then congratulating ourselves on giving kids a glimpse of  'nature.'

Instead of showing the child the vastness of things, the complexity of interconnectivity that their minds thrive on, we pretend that we know the answers and that the limits are fixed. When of course they are not.

Kids already know this. Instinctively, they seek bigger, wider, taller. (Could this be why so many young children have an attraction to dinosaurs?). 

They seek out the externalization of what they already know about themselves: "I am large. I contain multitudes." (Walt Whitman).

 We give children a sand box to play in when what they should have is the experience of the entire beach..as far as the eye can see. What should be there are the clouds shifting shapes in the great sky overhead; the beginning of rain; the shrieking of  sea gulls; the wind on arms as you dig deeply into the yielding sand newly dampened by the timeless ebb and flow of waves.

 We put children in 'places of learning' when we should be letting them experience the whole spectrum (not only the parts that we carve out for them); when they should be experiencing their world.

You shall possess the good of the earth and sun, (there are millions
of suns left,)
You shall no longer take things at second or third hand, nor look through
the eyes of the dead, nor feed on the spectres in books,
You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me,
You shall listen to all sides and filter them from your self.
Walt Whitman
1819-1892
Song of Myself

Toronto. Where are your children?

You know your city is a friendly place to live in when you see kids walking about.

I've been going to Toronto fairly often these last few months and it has dawned on me as I walk the crowded streets that there are hardly any children in sight (and it's even summer time!!!).

Toronto. Where are your children?

Maybe it's the location I'm going to-that is,the down-town business district.

But the other day, I was accompanying my sister who had business in the city to attend to and could not bring her two month old baby in the room.

The idea was for me to be in the vicinity with the baby and alert her to when he needed to nurse.
So on boarding the train at Newmarket (near where we were cottaging) heading to Union station in Toronto, we attempted to get the stroller on board. It turned out that the wheels were too wide for the extremely narrow door ( which was divided down the middle by a metal bar).

As we struggled to pull it in, my sister loaded down by her baby and a bag, me with the diaper bag and back-pack, the announcement was made that the train was about to depart. "Just toss it," my sister yelled. "We have to stay on this train." I refused.
While disgruntled morning commuters looked on, or continued reading the paper or doing make up (no one bothering to see if they could help us) I managed to fold it and get it on the train. Clearly, the GO isn't designed for parents with young kids- or maybe there is a secret way to get on that I don't know about.
The other thing I noticed was that people in Toronto hardly glanced at our beautiful bouncing baby which was unbelievable to me-a dotting auntie.

This busy, high energy city while welcoming young, working hotshots has no room for children, As much as I like Toronto I can't feel at home in a place that does not welcome children. What's up with that TO?
How about your city? Is it kid friendly?

Unschooling didn't start with my children. It started with me.

I just realized that I am the original autodidact. Unschooling didn't start with my children. It started with me.

I can recall the first time I ever questioned the opinion of an author. It was an epiphany for me. I was about 13 when I found myself in disagreement with what the writer was arguing (can't even remember what it was).

I was awestruck that I could disagree; that I could challenge the authority of the printed word ("it's printed so it must be true.")

When I understood the power this gave me I got really heady. I was off.The feeling of audacity, of daring that came to me was unequaled in my experience. What else could I challenge? What else didn't I agree with?

But even before this, I was already on my path to self directed learning.

At age 12, having moved from Britain to Africa and determined to go to a French speaking school instead of the anglophone school, I spent all summer studying verbs in my Becherelle-although in the end I did not end up going.
Instead I was made to go to an awful school that I regularly avoided going to.

It was a sketchy affair. I  attended infrequently and unwillingly-being traumatized at the conditions I found there. With well over 70 people per classroom and the classroom at that being nothing more than a mud hut with a corrugated roof and an enormous hole in the wall where the red dust of the dry season swept through. Let's just say that going to the toilet didn't happen too often either-horrifying as it was to my tender British sensibilities!

Instead, I spent a lot of time at home taking care of my baby sister while mother worked.

Suffice it to say that I spent many, many an afternoon pondering about the ways of the world. I read religion trying to find answers there. I studied mathematics and physics and at high school dropped out of organic chemistry failing to understand it . At that point I was expelled for poor attendance.

Not a problem. I was used to doing my own thing anyway. I studied math and my mother hired a tutor to help me with further maths for my 'A Levels.' In short, I think I always have been self directed learner so no surprise that here I am encouraging and promoting self direction for my daughters and for others.
What about you? When did you become an autodidact?

People who love what they do, like to share what they do.

People who love what they do, like to share what they do.
That has been my experience any way. For example, when my family and I were producing our weekly program, we had the great fortune to meet with all kinds of amazing people in our community. These people, whether they were a shoemaker, an anthropologist, a vet, a witch, a potter or what have you-generously shared their knowledge and skills with us.

Most importantly, they imparted their passion and love for what they did.

What a thrill to be taught by people who are really, really in to what they do! The mood is contagious- even if one will never actually follow that same path. The idea that there is a mathematician out there who solves problems by using origami or that if we like, we can take a peek through the telescope of our neighbour, the astronomer and see Jupiter's rings, or that we can help grow veggies with our local urban farmer etc. was enough of an education in itself as far as I am concerned.

They showed us -my family and the friends who came along with us on our excursions- that there is a way to live life that requires effort of course, but that effort stems from love of what you do. Who could ask for better instruction?
I particularly recall the violinist and cellist who came to our home and played a wonderful concerto while we sat open mouthed-in awe of their talent and their humbleness. These amazing sisters could never know how much they inspired my daughter to continue with her violin playing.

I remember the thrill my oldest (who is now a budding poet and author) experienced when she interviewed at age ten, author Gordon Korman-then a favorite writer.


So when you are looking for opportunities in unschooling, keep this idea in mind: immerse yourself around people who are excited about what they are doing. The world will open up to you.

Joy and Jealousy

Why is it so disturbing to the many to see other people enjoying their lives? Is it because we have an uneasy relationship with joy and contentment and seeing others joyful when we ourselves may not be?

Take time. People who have made arrangements so that with less desire for material wealth and more time to do the things they like, to hang out, or to sleep in are often looked upon with suspicion by regular folks.

The thinking goes, "Everybody should work  a 9 to 5 job all week long and wait until the weekend to have some fun. That's the way it's done. Everyone should, unless they are rich and famous."

Because of course, wealth is guaranteed immunity from the disdain that's reserved for those part-timers.

Who in their right mind would settle for less stuff when if they would work more, could have more?

It's a concept many of us struggle with.
What gives these people the right to be 'idle'? It doesn't sit well with the 'protestant work ethic' that dictates that all people should work hard and acquire material wealth- or die trying. Hence the distrust and bad rep those of us get who are trying to live a life of more thoughtfulness, depth and quality.

Naturally when confronted with unschoolers, one can further understand the sentiment of jealousy towards the parents-that they can give so much of their time to do it.

Then comes the jealousy towards the children of unschoolers. To many, it feels wrong to see kids enjoying themselves during school hours! How can these kids get away with it, they wonder?

There is even resentment and jealousy that people would actually want to do this unschooling thing.  One must forgive those who are hopelessly outraged that (to add insult to injury), it actually works!

Yet offered a chance at freedom of this kind, how many would accept it? Largely invested in the conventional, I fear the majority would turn away -be it out of guilt, fear or simply routine.

Freeing oneself from work takes work. For me it is ongoing. There are still the voices of other people in my mind. There are still other people's needs and expectations. There are still my own expectations-true or fabricated.
I am just so happy that my children, raised as unschoolers, have a chance at this freedom and peace of mind that is already allowing them to be the people they want to be, and live the life they want to live by following their bliss.

The Five Minute University

Unschooling. What's in it for me?

Let's put the "because it's good for the kids,"  aside for a moment. I want to propose the idea that unschooling is good for the unschooling parent. Yes.The parent.
When I started out letting my kids stay away from school- I said it was for them. And it was. It was so that they could continue learning the way they were already doing; naturally, not contrived but pursuing their interests.Incidental learning would follow.

I wanted them to be able to stay away from a prescribed curriculum, from the ringing of bells interrupting play and work, from the frustration of early morning rushing around and being inside all day, missing family and friends. I wanted them to hang out in pajamas if they wanted to; to witness and be in the first snow of winter time; to see spring time premier with it's fanfare of plant diversity and explosion of color.
So they didn't go to school.

But I discovered there was so much about unschooling that was all for me. Yes for me.
First of all- peace of mind knowing that my children were within reach and in my care. Not with people I knew absolutely NOTHING about.
Secondly, I got to read all kinds of wonderful books to my kids; stories that I loved and that made my imagination and my fancy grow. We read and read and read. Reading these works of fiction (and continuing to read to my daughters-even though they are avid readers themselves) has long inspired me to write my own (getting there, getting there!).

Thirdly, by living close to my children I learned and continue to learn all sorts of things in response to their questioning. What makes the clouds? Why aren't kids allowed to vote?  When will there be another solar eclipse? I'll often marvel that my education really got underway when my kid arrived.

I like stopping and observing things-plants, rocks, architecture and often I'd find that people would look at me strangely. Well once I had kids we would pause to look and I would observe to my heart's content with never a backward glance from any passerby.

I also found that unschooling young kids especially lead me to do more of what I love -being in the woods. We walked in the woods and  watch the light play on the water of the creek, the green glow of leaves, experience the sudden shock of slithering snakes, pick delicious raspberries and blackberries from bushes only we knew where to find.

 Unschooling satisfies my inquisitive nature be it from reading bulletin boards, picking up flyers and brochures, skimming newspapers for information and resources that feed my interest and expands my knowledge.

Unschooling has expanded me as a person. You know when you hear people say things like they haven't learned anything in years, I think what they mean is that they haven't pushed themselves to do anything different. They feel the same. They feel stagnant. Well for me, what unschooling my children has done is enrich my life. Unschooling liberates me. Because I allow myself to venture into the unknown I come out all 'the fuller.'
Some times it is difficult.
I have to walk the talk. Once I opened that door, once I allowed passionate interests to lead my children, I could not stop there. The challenge is forever on. How can I be better than I am; how can I be a better person than I am? That's what's in it for me.

Yes! (Successful unschooling? Say yes more).

My husband said about our youngest, "She is having the best experience. Out of all our kids, her mindset works the best for unschooling because she says "yes!""

I get what he means. If unschooling begins with the experiential, if it means to learn by being immersed in the experience, if it entails awaking in the morning with an eagerness for the day; to be open to adventure and to expect the good rather than the boring and dreary then being a 'Yes Man' supports this strategy of learning.

"The key word is yes. It signifies a willingness to try new things and to be active, asking questions, explore. It leads to knowing where you are. A sense of belonging."
For whatever reason when the kid is not open to suggestions, he says no a lot. Husband continues, "the kid misses opportunities to see and to do; that is to experience and to discuss and debate and enjoy the things seen."

It's all about experience.

Saying "yes" as a parent is also important. "To pull yourself of the couch when you don't feel like it, or to go on a bike ride, kick a soccer ball, go to a movie. It's two ways. It's mutually beneficial.

In conclusion this daddy wants to share with you readers an insight he acquired from  improv comedy.

He says, "'Yes' is the secret to success. In comedy as in life experiences you go along with the character. You don't think about it. That openness in turn opens up new possibilities."

Creative Protest

You can say no to college. Why not say no to school?

There's a really interesting article in The Lighter Side Blog. It's called Students paid $100,000 not to go to College.
It reports that Peter Thiel, PayPal's co-founder, is paying 24 college-aged students $100,000 to just say not to college.
Why?
The article reads, "Thiel has made no secret of his opposition to higher education, calling it the next bubble and criticizing the often-crushing cost of study".
"A true bubble is when something is overvalued and intensely believed," Thiel told TechCrunch earlier this year. "Education may be the only thing people still believe in in the United States. To question education is really dangerous. It is the absolute taboo. It's like telling the world there's no Santa Claus."

 We have seen this with the reaction we get to unschooling- mass protest and ridicule! I find it really ironic then to read the comments that follow the article. Many of the comments are sympathetic to the idea that you can learn more in the real world and by experience than in college.

But I can't helping wondering how many of these people would extend this thinking to include children? By this I mean allowing children to learn by experience-naturally and IN the world, rather than in schools with schools' institutionalized, "one size fits all' type of education?

My Family and Other Animals: A fine model of Unschooling!

I just re-watched the film My family and Other Animals (2005)and love it. It's based on the book by the same title-written by Gerald Durrell. Come to think about it, I have already writtenabout this movie in a previous post but I so enjoyed the film (and so did my family) that I have to bring it up again for those of you who haven't seen it yet-it's so endearing. So quirky. I also intend to read the book next.

Gerald "Gerry" Malcolm Durrell (January 7, 1925 – January 30, 1995) was a naturalist,zookeeper, conservationist, author, and television presenter. He founded what is now called the Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust. He is remembered for writing a number of books based on his life as an animal collector and enthusiast. He was the brother of the novelist Lawrence Durrell.

What is even more exciting about the movie is that it is an unschooling movie. In my opinion it is an example of unschooling at its best.

Portrayed is a rather eccentric tight-knit family-each member engaged in pursuing their passions and interests.

One quote in the movie that I particularly like from the mother Mrs. Durrell. She says, "If you can control your family you've gone terribly wrong somewhere."

Hear! Hear!

She is kind,supportive of, although mildly interested in the children's (adolescent and young adults) pursuits. Mrs.Durrell is tolerant,non-judgmental; even indulgent -where it matters. She is a comfortable, protective mother. Watch her go after the tutor they have employed for Gerry- when he starts making eyes at her daughter!!!.
Gerry spends ages 10 to 14 in the beautiful  island oasis of Corfu -surrounded by his beloved menagerie and supported by family, his brother's friends, and a professor who mentors his interest in animals.

At the end of the movie,on returning to England Gerald says about being made to go to school despite his protests:

I said I liked being half-educated; you were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant.

Airy- Fairy Unschooling:National Post Reporting

I was interviewed yesterday by a National Post reporter about unschooling although she didn't end up using my interview. She seemed reasonable but as it turns out, it's the usual slant you'll read whenever you pick up an article on unschooling. This includes the critics who worry that the unschooled kids are not getting enough exposure to diversity of people.
If these critics are so concerned about overarching exposure to diversity, why aren't they worrying that public school kids are not getting exposure to kids of the rich and famous and powerful?
They're never going to rub noses with this crowd- but no one is sweating about that.

The question that those 'reporting' about unschooling always drag up is the"'what about structure?" Had the  reporter included my response in the piece, structure arises out of sustained activity that the family and children are pursuing.
Furthermore, it is not because you follow the ding- a- ling of a bell that you are 'following structure.'
Instead, you are being trained.
"Going around, unfocused, not focusing on anything," was how she put it.

What can I say?

Unschooled kids have even more opportunity then schooled kids to be focused because they have time (and less stress) to really delve into a subject or area of interest. This is not the fast- food style delivery you can expect to receive with public schooling. This is authentic learning- giving learning time to 'stew.'
I think I've already mentioned in another post about how interest based learning draws in all sorts of incidental learning. For example, my eldest who was unschooled to grade 8 and is now in grade 10 at public high school is a huge anime manga fan -and she  particularly loves the Hetalia series -a series which presents an allegorical interpretation of political and historic events, particularly of the WWII era, in which the various countries are represented by anthropomorphic characters. This deep fascination has led her to have 100% in history class as well as developing a keen interest in world politics and civics.

I really wish people would take more time to investigate the topic-you know be self directed and make the effort to educate yourself.

Concerned about what kind of adults unschooled kids will turn out to be?
There are enough studies and reports (many of these on my blog) that showcase real life grown unschoolers and what they are doing so why not read about them, talk to them, meet them?

It's like the other day,a woman -a retired teacher - who heard me saying that my kid doesn't go to school interjected with, "Oh. Unschooling? Illich and that? Well it works for some kids but often it's just all airy fairy."

Uh huh. And so schooling works for everyone does it? Every single person who goes through the system, who wears the badge of school on their chest is.. successfully educated are they? Even if this statement were true I would still come back with,"So what? So what if your education is complete? What are you doing with it? How are you bettering the community?"

Not with the whole family!

We all want our kids to get along; to really like one another. When you unschool, it’s a given that you see more of the family.  This is great for learning how to get along, resolve problems and creating strong bonds between all the members of the family. But there are times when a kid just needs a little more space and time alone.

This post is in defense of the kid having his or her own friends and interests and not having to have the whole family tag along all the time.

I write this because I’ve noticed that sometimes when I’ve put an age limit to an event I am organizing, or if I have invited a youth over to work on something with my kid (age 12), the mother will say, “No! Not without the whole family.” 

I am the first to say that learning is a family adventure. Heaven knows as a family we are all forced to learn about things from individual members by virtue of living in the family. I know for a fact I would never have taken a second look at say- Manga graphic art or Dogs and their behavior or America’s Next Top Model or canoing with Bill Manson.

But there comes a time in a child’s life when he or she wants to get serious about something-really dig into something and does not want brothers and sisters and mother trailing along.

Sometimes, the kid would simply like to hang out with friends her age or not her age-doesn’t matter but just away; but mom expects her to include the siblings.

Other times the kid’s friend is over and mom wants them (kid and friend) to include the siblings as well. In my case, I am guilty of doing the reverse where I will urge my other daughters to join the pair; “Come on. Get off the computer and hang out with them too.”

In both situations, I don’t think we as parents are showing respect towards the youth who might be wanting time away from the family-to stretch their wings and not feel obligated by expectations of ‘family togetherness.”

It comes down to a question of balance as usual. When is too much.. too much? 

As my girls get older, I recognize their desire to be less around the family.  We can not expect to be their 'one and all.' I encourage them to talk and meet with other families, adults and peers who have so much to offer.

I try to make sure though, that opportunities to strengthen family ties are present. We have our common area which is the dining room where we often work on the computers do home work, chat, eat and hang out.  This is probably the most important place for us to enhance our bonds.

I wonder how other families play out the balance between ‘with the family’ and ‘without the family’? Tell us about it.

Entitled

I was at my daughter's soccer practice a few days ago and while I waited I chatted to an acquaintance.

"How is it going?" I asked referring to his job at Mohawk College. "It's been crazy," he responded. "The Mental Health Clinic is nuts. Busy all the time we can't keep up."

" Oh?  What gives?" I asked.

"It's the damned internet," he joked. "People spending too much time online. But seriously though. It's kids coming in who are feeling depressed. They are feeling lost. They can't keep up with the work load."
What it boils down he said, is that there seems to be a sense of entitlement. A feeling of deserving the best- top marks.
"One mother came in saying that Mohawk College had better pull their socks up as her son is failing.So there is a lot of blame being put on the teachers."

Maybe it's the internet. Maybe the teachers aren't doing their jobs right. But I've come across this concern of kids feeling a sense of 'being owed,' often because they've paid good money for the courses.

The director of the not- for- profit I work at also taught an online course at one point last year and she noticed that the students in her course would often come back to her demanding that she give them a higher mark. They would get upset and angry with her when she wouldn't give it to them (as the quality was poor).

So what's this? Out of touch with reality?

One of the good things about the 'follow your interest' learning (unschooling) is that kids, from a very early age are encouraged to take responsibility for their learning and for their actions. I think it is the best lesson anyone can ever have.

Today, my daughter said to me, "Humm. I'm feeling bored with the same old. I have to make my own adventure." This is a 12 year old kid who already knows that it is up to her to create her own fun; make her own path."

The tragedy of schooling is that too often people go through years and years of schooling to end up expecting others to 'make it happen' for them.

Unschooling At You

What do you do when you’re interested in something- say, ‘dark matter’ or rope making?
You go to the computer and start a google search. You go to the library and check out the resources. If you need more expertise you talk to people who have more knowledge than you do- a master in the field. You take specialized courses. You read up on everything you can find about the topic.
By mindfully pursuing what interests us, we gain expertise and mastery over that area of interest. 

Even during that period of our lives when we are in school and being schooled, outside of school hours, we continue to go after what really interests us.  Everybody does! That is what unschooling is about.


Learning follows this interest-an inevitable offshoot of doing what we want to do.
Why then is it such a leap of faith to allow children to learn in this way, everyday, during those ‘school hours’; that is, to learn without a curriculum- to unschool?

The truth is, if school as we know it shut down permanently, never to reopen again learning would still happen.


Education and learning would not stop- just as we’ve seen when we go about pursuing our interests and learning and acquire education in our everyday lives-without institutionalization. 

Should the support that schools have enjoyed for over 200 years be withdrawn or at least unsettled, rather than the predicted pandemonium and  ‘outbreak of ignorance’ scenario amongst our young citizenry, a more vibrant, self-sufficient society might have the chance to emerge; creating opportunities for and permitting that locked up part of the population to be active participants and co-creators of culture.
 
That inclusive society is already happening, eager to fully take root.

Volunteers needed/please help/upcoming book

Dear Unschoolers,
Re: Radio Free School interview as a book chapter.

We (Beatrice Ekwa Ekoko and Carlo Ricci) hope that this email finds you well. We are co-editing a book together.
The book will be divided into three sections

1. What is unschooling or natural learning;
2. What does it look like in practice;
3. The stories of those who unschooled and are now adults.
We are using the interviews that were conducted for Radio Free School as our source.

We are looking for volunteers to help us with the following:

1. Contact us and we will send you a link to the Radio Free School talk that we need help transcribing
2. Listen to the interview that we send you and transcribe it word for word
3. We are hoping that we will get the transcript within one week of us sending it to you. Of course, if you need more time please let us know and we will try our best to accommodate. It will likely require about 3 hours
of your time.

We both thank you so much for considering our request and hope that you find this project as worthwhile as we do and agree to help us by transcribing an interview. For your help, you will get a wholehearted thank you and your name will appear in the appreciation section of the book. If we transcribed the interviews, as we have been doing, it will delay our project longer than we would like.

So with each of us doing one, obviously we will complete this part much sooner. Thanks again.