Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Muddle-and getting out of it.

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'Never Wonder!'

'It's a muddle,' is the way Stephen Blackpool puts it in Charles Dickens' Hard Times-as he tries to make sense of the injustices of the world he lives in. That dim and weighted world of back breaking labour -overseen by greedy, callous Masters.


In this world, the 'self made' men exemplified by Mr. Josiah Bounderby, a manufacturer, mill owner and tyrant believe that the poor deserve their poverty. Faceless 'Hands' complain because they expect to be "set up in a coach and six, and to be fed on turtle soup and venison, with a gold spoon, as a good many of ’em do!’


Poor Blackpool, a weaver in Bounderby's employ doesn't stand a chance at happiness in this muddle of a life. He has no hope of ever being with the woman he loves, is ostracized by his co-workers and sent packing by the boss.
Blackpool dies with the lingering feeling that it doesn't have to be a muddle if only others had a stab at shaping the works they live in.


The novel itself starts with a classroom scene where what is wrong with the world of work is equally wrong with the world of schooling.
"Now what I want is, Facts," says Thomas Gradrgrind, instructing the new teacher at his school. 'Teach these boys and girls nothing but facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else and root out everything else. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals upon Facts: nothing else will be of service to them.
The children are warned that they should 'never wonder.'  Sissy, a new student is told she is stupid and fanciful because she can not describe a horse factually. Louisa, daughter to Gradgrind and future wife to the far older Bounderby, and Tom junior her brother are wrung through their father's educational system- a system which demands that they not have feelings at all.
They end up emotional cripples; ruined by their father's system.


It's a hard, hard time.
The book was written during the Industrial Revolution, and the introduction of compulsory education. This is when the 'muddle' is created.
150 years later, despite our advances in technology, health and social and ethical rights, we are still living that muddle.The gap widens between those who have and those who don't.  
Stephen's words still ring true today:


"Look how we live, an’ wheer we live, an’ in what numbers, an’ by what chances, an’ wi’ what sameness; and look how the mills is awlus a-goin’, and how they never works us no nigher to onny distant object-‘ceptin awlus Death. Look how you considers of us, and writes of us, and talks of us, and goes up wi’ your deputations to Secretaries o’ State ‘bout us, and how yo are awlus right, and how we are awlus wrong, and never had’n no reason in us sin ever we were born. Look how this ha’ growen an’ growen sir, bigger an’ bigger, broader an’ broader, harder an’ harder, fro year to year, fro generation unto generation. Who can look on’t sir, and fairly tell a man ‘tis not a muddle?"
When it comes to education- we still don't get it.'Schools are failing,' is the refrain. 'Pour more money into schools,' they say. 'Schools kill creativity,' we hear.
But the cycle continues and the students get the blame. If you fail it is because you didn't work hard enough- you weren't good in school.
And like Stephen the 'losers' go through life feeling that something doesn't add up, but not knowing what.


But many of us are extracting  ourselves from the muddle. When it comes to schooling, we are beginning to understand educational independence
We don't believe what we are told-that you can only get educated at school and that is the only valuable education you can get.
We challenge that notion. We discover that what you learn by your own initiative has more worth than what is imposed on you in an institutional setting.
We start by believing in ourselves. Trusting in ourselves means giving up beliefs we have about ourselves and what we can or can't do.
We must go into it wholesome, clear about our goals, and extricate ourselves from the muddle that is other people's beliefs.
Today, more than ever, education means taking charge of your learning and how you want to act in the world.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Taking care of number 1

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What a fantastic response RFS received from women who shared their thoughts on the previous post, 'I unschooled my children and got burned.'

I think the important lesson to take away from this discussion  is that it is unwise and unhealthy to suspend our own lives (as unschooling mothers) because we're unschooling our kids. By this, I mean 'put it all on hold'-whether it's creativity, work, relationships with others-nurturing ourselves.

Many times, my kids have said to me, "be more selfish mom. Go out and get something new (like a new sweater) instead of putting yourself last all the time."

I am not materialistic but I'm glad my daughters remind me to do something like this. 

She knows I'll usually buy at the used stores - as many of us do who prefer to use that money for lessons for the kids will do.
And that's just the 'frivolous bit,' right? But I think there is something to that. I suppose if you can buy yourself something nice, or do something for yourself, then you're honouring yourself.
And your kids see value in that. 

I read comments saying that unschooling is not about revolving your life around the kids and I can't agree more. You do your thing. Sometimes you can include them in your work or interest, other times you won't be able to. That's okay.

I've seen unschooling moms doing everything- the cooking, the cleaning, the running the kids around, no time for themselves, let alone their marriages.

But to me, doing everything for the kids is the antithesis of unschooling. Rather, it's mum being the family maid.

Unschooling,as we all know is a lifestyle that requires creativity, spunk and resourcefulness. We get good at it by doing it; by continuously evaluating where we are at, by challenging ourselves, by seeking and giving support to one another.

Keep that discussion rolling! I'd like to hear how unschooling mums nurture themselves!

Monday, January 16, 2012

I unschooled my kids and got burned

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"I unschooled my kids and got burned," my friend tells me as we talk over the phone. "I recall my father telling me, 'Karla, what about your career?' But did I listen?"
At the time, she says, she was young. Unschooling was fulfilling and rich and she didn't feel like she needed more. She was poor, her husband didn't make much but she was happy being with her kids and helping them direct their learning.

But now, although she does not regret having unschooled, she has to admit that she is in a "rotten place."
With a divorce in the works, and still one child not yet grown (now at high school) she admits that she should have seen this coming. She wishes she had been more prepared. "I'm getting older and jobs aren't falling into my lap," she worries.
"It's not like I didn't work at jobs though," she continues. She worked on projects, did some writing but she didn't take the time to nurture her own interests and career. "A big mistake," she warns.

I agree. When I was in the throes of unschooling when my kids were little, I made sure I worked on my own interests. I always took a course- whether it was photography or 'word' or singing. I called it taking care of my mental health. I volunteered a lot (and my kids came along with me)  and created a group against the use of pesticides for cosmetic use. I produced a weekly radio show (for free),  I wrote for little pay or for nothing- but that helped build up my resume and gave me confidence to move forward when the time came to seek employment.

Many other women do the same. Or they work part time or in the evenings or in the morning. Or they have a small business. I think it is very dangerous to NOT keep this in the fore when you decide to unschool.
It sucks that you can spend all your life doing the most important thing in the world, raising the next generation and in the end, end up with nothing.

Ultimately, you must take care of yourself because if you don't, how can you take care of your family? I am interested in reading your comments.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Unschooling 101. Take this Quiz.

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Okay so you think you know what unschooling is all about?
Test yourself with this  multiple choice quiz.

1.Who is credited with coining the term 'unschooling'?
a. John Holt
b.George W. Bush, Jr
c.Oprah Winfrey

2. Unschooling means
a. No schooling
b. Un educated.

3.Unschooling is
a. illegal
b. legal
c. legal depending on where you live.

4.Unschoolers are
a. hippies
b. irresponsible parents
c.parents who come from a wide range of backgrounds but who believe that they can do a better job than a school can do.

5. Unschoolers
a. are all artsy and can't do math
b. have no socialization skills
c. can't get jobs when they grow up
d. grow up and contribute to society as much as any one else and more.

6.Unschooled kids sometimes
a. sit at home and play video games all day
b.can't read sometimes at age 12
c.learn from the community as well as from their interests
d. none of the above
e. all of the above.

7. Natural learning is another term for unschooling. It means,
a. learning in nature
b. learning from nature
c. Learning according to your own rhythm and at your own pace.

8. True or false
Unschoolers don't go to college or university because they can't get in
Unschoolers know that 'well roundedness'  is a myth and so they don't concern themselves with trying
Unschooling means you will only have a few interests.

9. Unschooling is
a. freedom to learn
b. freedom to not learn
c. None of the above.
d. Both of the above.

10. Unschoolers
a. stay away from structure
b. stay away from academics
c. Avoid multiple choice  quizzes like this!!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy New Year!

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Happy new year y'all!
Just want to let you know what I have lined up for in the new year. 
The book that we worked on last year based on interviews with unschooling/natural learning advocates is scheduled for publishing and we can't say more than that- but stay tuned.
Also, I am planning the launch of a new blog on education that will extend beyond the unschooling audience and be helpful (I hope) to parents, educators and self educators a like. I am working on a name for the blog which is is in itself a very revealing exercise.
I would also like to say that I have started an informal study of what people talk about. Drop me a line or two if you'd like to share what you talk about with people -be it your sister, a co-worker, the lady at the coffee shop. Why am I doing this? Let's say it is my curiosity for now. Okay fine. I will give you a clue. It relates back to what we think people need to know to get along in the world. And what we think is 'educated.' Should be fun!