Joy and Jealousy

Why is it so disturbing to the many to see other people enjoying their lives? Is it because we have an uneasy relationship with joy and contentment and seeing others joyful when we ourselves may not be?

Take time. People who have made arrangements so that with less desire for material wealth and more time to do the things they like, to hang out, or to sleep in are often looked upon with suspicion by regular folks.

The thinking goes, "Everybody should work  a 9 to 5 job all week long and wait until the weekend to have some fun. That's the way it's done. Everyone should, unless they are rich and famous."

Because of course, wealth is guaranteed immunity from the disdain that's reserved for those part-timers.

Who in their right mind would settle for less stuff when if they would work more, could have more?

It's a concept many of us struggle with.
What gives these people the right to be 'idle'? It doesn't sit well with the 'protestant work ethic' that dictates that all people should work hard and acquire material wealth- or die trying. Hence the distrust and bad rep those of us get who are trying to live a life of more thoughtfulness, depth and quality.

Naturally when confronted with unschoolers, one can further understand the sentiment of jealousy towards the parents-that they can give so much of their time to do it.

Then comes the jealousy towards the children of unschoolers. To many, it feels wrong to see kids enjoying themselves during school hours! How can these kids get away with it, they wonder?

There is even resentment and jealousy that people would actually want to do this unschooling thing.  One must forgive those who are hopelessly outraged that (to add insult to injury), it actually works!

Yet offered a chance at freedom of this kind, how many would accept it? Largely invested in the conventional, I fear the majority would turn away -be it out of guilt, fear or simply routine.

Freeing oneself from work takes work. For me it is ongoing. There are still the voices of other people in my mind. There are still other people's needs and expectations. There are still my own expectations-true or fabricated.
I am just so happy that my children, raised as unschoolers, have a chance at this freedom and peace of mind that is already allowing them to be the people they want to be, and live the life they want to live by following their bliss.

The Five Minute University

Unschooling. What's in it for me?

Let's put the "because it's good for the kids,"  aside for a moment. I want to propose the idea that unschooling is good for the unschooling parent. Yes.The parent.
When I started out letting my kids stay away from school- I said it was for them. And it was. It was so that they could continue learning the way they were already doing; naturally, not contrived but pursuing their interests.Incidental learning would follow.

I wanted them to be able to stay away from a prescribed curriculum, from the ringing of bells interrupting play and work, from the frustration of early morning rushing around and being inside all day, missing family and friends. I wanted them to hang out in pajamas if they wanted to; to witness and be in the first snow of winter time; to see spring time premier with it's fanfare of plant diversity and explosion of color.
So they didn't go to school.

But I discovered there was so much about unschooling that was all for me. Yes for me.
First of all- peace of mind knowing that my children were within reach and in my care. Not with people I knew absolutely NOTHING about.
Secondly, I got to read all kinds of wonderful books to my kids; stories that I loved and that made my imagination and my fancy grow. We read and read and read. Reading these works of fiction (and continuing to read to my daughters-even though they are avid readers themselves) has long inspired me to write my own (getting there, getting there!).

Thirdly, by living close to my children I learned and continue to learn all sorts of things in response to their questioning. What makes the clouds? Why aren't kids allowed to vote?  When will there be another solar eclipse? I'll often marvel that my education really got underway when my kid arrived.

I like stopping and observing things-plants, rocks, architecture and often I'd find that people would look at me strangely. Well once I had kids we would pause to look and I would observe to my heart's content with never a backward glance from any passerby.

I also found that unschooling young kids especially lead me to do more of what I love -being in the woods. We walked in the woods and  watch the light play on the water of the creek, the green glow of leaves, experience the sudden shock of slithering snakes, pick delicious raspberries and blackberries from bushes only we knew where to find.

 Unschooling satisfies my inquisitive nature be it from reading bulletin boards, picking up flyers and brochures, skimming newspapers for information and resources that feed my interest and expands my knowledge.

Unschooling has expanded me as a person. You know when you hear people say things like they haven't learned anything in years, I think what they mean is that they haven't pushed themselves to do anything different. They feel the same. They feel stagnant. Well for me, what unschooling my children has done is enrich my life. Unschooling liberates me. Because I allow myself to venture into the unknown I come out all 'the fuller.'
Some times it is difficult.
I have to walk the talk. Once I opened that door, once I allowed passionate interests to lead my children, I could not stop there. The challenge is forever on. How can I be better than I am; how can I be a better person than I am? That's what's in it for me.

Yes! (Successful unschooling? Say yes more).

My husband said about our youngest, "She is having the best experience. Out of all our kids, her mindset works the best for unschooling because she says "yes!""

I get what he means. If unschooling begins with the experiential, if it means to learn by being immersed in the experience, if it entails awaking in the morning with an eagerness for the day; to be open to adventure and to expect the good rather than the boring and dreary then being a 'Yes Man' supports this strategy of learning.

"The key word is yes. It signifies a willingness to try new things and to be active, asking questions, explore. It leads to knowing where you are. A sense of belonging."
For whatever reason when the kid is not open to suggestions, he says no a lot. Husband continues, "the kid misses opportunities to see and to do; that is to experience and to discuss and debate and enjoy the things seen."

It's all about experience.

Saying "yes" as a parent is also important. "To pull yourself of the couch when you don't feel like it, or to go on a bike ride, kick a soccer ball, go to a movie. It's two ways. It's mutually beneficial.

In conclusion this daddy wants to share with you readers an insight he acquired from  improv comedy.

He says, "'Yes' is the secret to success. In comedy as in life experiences you go along with the character. You don't think about it. That openness in turn opens up new possibilities."

Creative Protest

You can say no to college. Why not say no to school?

There's a really interesting article in The Lighter Side Blog. It's called Students paid $100,000 not to go to College.
It reports that Peter Thiel, PayPal's co-founder, is paying 24 college-aged students $100,000 to just say not to college.
Why?
The article reads, "Thiel has made no secret of his opposition to higher education, calling it the next bubble and criticizing the often-crushing cost of study".
"A true bubble is when something is overvalued and intensely believed," Thiel told TechCrunch earlier this year. "Education may be the only thing people still believe in in the United States. To question education is really dangerous. It is the absolute taboo. It's like telling the world there's no Santa Claus."

 We have seen this with the reaction we get to unschooling- mass protest and ridicule! I find it really ironic then to read the comments that follow the article. Many of the comments are sympathetic to the idea that you can learn more in the real world and by experience than in college.

But I can't helping wondering how many of these people would extend this thinking to include children? By this I mean allowing children to learn by experience-naturally and IN the world, rather than in schools with schools' institutionalized, "one size fits all' type of education?

My Family and Other Animals: A fine model of Unschooling!

I just re-watched the film My family and Other Animals (2005)and love it. It's based on the book by the same title-written by Gerald Durrell. Come to think about it, I have already writtenabout this movie in a previous post but I so enjoyed the film (and so did my family) that I have to bring it up again for those of you who haven't seen it yet-it's so endearing. So quirky. I also intend to read the book next.

Gerald "Gerry" Malcolm Durrell (January 7, 1925 – January 30, 1995) was a naturalist,zookeeper, conservationist, author, and television presenter. He founded what is now called the Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust. He is remembered for writing a number of books based on his life as an animal collector and enthusiast. He was the brother of the novelist Lawrence Durrell.

What is even more exciting about the movie is that it is an unschooling movie. In my opinion it is an example of unschooling at its best.

Portrayed is a rather eccentric tight-knit family-each member engaged in pursuing their passions and interests.

One quote in the movie that I particularly like from the mother Mrs. Durrell. She says, "If you can control your family you've gone terribly wrong somewhere."

Hear! Hear!

She is kind,supportive of, although mildly interested in the children's (adolescent and young adults) pursuits. Mrs.Durrell is tolerant,non-judgmental; even indulgent -where it matters. She is a comfortable, protective mother. Watch her go after the tutor they have employed for Gerry- when he starts making eyes at her daughter!!!.
Gerry spends ages 10 to 14 in the beautiful  island oasis of Corfu -surrounded by his beloved menagerie and supported by family, his brother's friends, and a professor who mentors his interest in animals.

At the end of the movie,on returning to England Gerald says about being made to go to school despite his protests:

I said I liked being half-educated; you were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant.