Halloween is for all ages!

"I hate Halloween," my sister says from across the miles,over the telephone. "It's all about sweeties and candies and sugar."

I use to lean more towards that opinion myself but my kids cured me and taught me to think otherwise. "Halloween is a  time to dress up and no one stares at you because it's normal," says my nearly 16 year old. 

Ever since she could talk and understand stories, she has gone around everywhere on regular days, dressed up in costume-role playing a 'character' from a book. So of course, she'll embrace an occasion where people can do this without getting funny looks and rude yells like "Halloween is in October!"

For her, it's exciting to see the costumes, going door to door for candy with friends and having a fun time.

Yes, she still goes out.

You might wonder what a kid this age is doing trick or treating.  At some point they have to stop right? I suppose so. But as she says, "We have a hard time, we 'teens'. We are not adults- we can't even vote. We can't do 'adult things.'  

"And yet, when we go out to trick or treat, we are considered too old. But really where is the harm? We dress up and with the rest of the community take to the streets for a night of celebrating the mysterious, the thrilling, the scary, the spooky." 

They certainly contribute to the ambiance.

How about the little 'ins? Isn't it too scary for them? 

I remember when one of my kids was two and when I took her out with her older sisters, she was terrified of the costumes. So we went home and the older two continued with their daddy.

We gave out candy in the safety of our home.

So Halloween? I ended up going with the flow and not stressing about the outrageous amounts of sugar they were eating. After all, it comes only once a year so why not indulge and go a little crazy with the rest of them?

Unschooling: When Couples Don't Agree.

You know what is right for your children and school isn't it. Your partner disagrees. S/He insists that school is were they ought to be. 

A friend of mine says, "He never agreed with my unschooling philosophy. I did it anyway."

Joanna's children are mostly grown up now. The three oldest are gainfully employed and the youngest, opting to go to highschool is in grade 10.

I ask her how it affected her relationship with her husband. "He didn't agree of much of anything I did. Unschooling was just another area. We hardly saw eye to eye on anything," is her response. 

Yet she stayed in the relationship because of her strong belief that unschooling would benefit her children.

"My husband blamed me for our lack of income. He thought I should be contributing."

Now that the kids are older, she has started the divorce process.

Does she have any regrets?

"I still believe in unschooling as the best learning strategy for my kids. Inspite of our compromised income, our stressed relationship, it was worth it."

Today she is working towards certification as a massage therapist. She cautions, "Make sure you have a way to make an income. I didn't and it was a hefty price to pay."

Another friend tells me that because of the respect her husband has for her, he agreed to give unschooling a try.

He read the materials she gave him, watched videos and even met with some of the "weirdos and freaks," that unschool.

He had to admit that the kids were normal-"bright and confident for the most part," my friend laughs.

When he met a family of grown unschoolers, he was sold on the idea. I think he just wanted to be reassured."

In the end, families will make decisions based on what they can tolerate. I'm lucky in that I never had the problem of an unwilling partner. I should say though, that I was very strong in my position. I never had doubts that unschooling was right for my family. I think that confidence in what I believed, backed up with evidence, made it easier for my husband to be open minded about the idea.

There is always a sacrifice, a price to pay, though. That could be quitting a day job as some have done to work at a home office so that they could be with their children during the day. Some work at night. Some do with less income.

When couples are not on board, it becomes difficult to unschool with one undermining the other.

As one father says, " Unschooling is life changing. It's effects are far-reaching-encompassing all areas of ones life. I couldn't imagine unschooling if my partner didn't support my thinking."

I'm back

Wow! Things have been so crazy that I have had no time to do some of the things I like best- like blogging. But I'm back now and plan to get more posts out more regularly.
For now, I want to share this video on a grown unschooler that I really enjoyed watching. Of interest to me was the question he asks," What would the world look like if every person was allowed to become a master in their area of interest, instead of average at everything." Well, it's not exactly worded that way but- you get the gist. I am obsessed by that thought and have been for years. What would such a society look like? I'm guessing it would be very vibrant; definitely exciting-never boring.

John Taylor Gatto: Send John a get well message today!

Are you kidding me? Jerry Mintz over at AERO sent on the Gatto update and here is what he writes in his newsletter;

Janet Gatto called to express John’s thanks for sending them over six dozen get well and appreciation messages that were emailed to the AERO office. She said it really made a difference and cheered him up since his recent stroke.

Are you KIDDING me people? Over six dozen get well and appreciation messages? Why isn't there over 60,000 messages urging him to get well soon?
This is the man who gave many of us courage to educate our children without schooling. Something doesn't jive with this picture. Jerry goes on to report from wife Janet:

He is improving day by day but still his great weakness in his left arm and leg. His handwriting is coming back to normal, and his voice is improving. The messages we received were very heartfelt and sometimes emotional, expressing the impact that John’s work has had on so many lives. People can send more messages to us if they want and we’ll see that they get them. Email to jerryaero@aol.com.

So do it today for John.

What am I doing to get there?

Here's an example of how a self-directed kid not only identifies her dreams, but acts responsibly by taking steps to realize those dreams.

My daughter (age 12) sat down one morning and on her own accord wrote up her goals and what she is doing to get there.

She identified who is helping her and what kind of support she needs in areas that are lacking the support. I've reproduced the original list here.

Soccer-What am I doing so far to get there?

Trying out for rep soccer. 

Things to help me get into the rep; Practice everyday.

Singing: I sing a lot. Things to help me get there; take singing lessons.

Dog Training:What am I doing to get there so far? Fostering dogs. I have been picked out by someone who trains dogs and she says I'm very good with them. She wants to show me how to train them. She will even pick me up.

Modelling/acting
I'm getting an agent. Ideas to help me get there: Practice my smile and rock the auditions.

Ethology: What am I doing to get here so far? Nothing. Ideas to help me get there -study animal books and movies.

Writing: what am I doing to get there so far? I wrote a story for the power of the pen competition. Ideas to help me get there: Keep writing and then try to get a book out.