"I unschooled my kids and got burned," my friend tells me as we talk over the phone. "I recall my father telling me, 'Karla, what about your career?' But did I listen?"
At the time, she says, she was young. Unschooling was fulfilling and rich and she didn't feel like she needed more. She was poor, her husband didn't make much but she was happy being with her kids and helping them direct their learning.
But now, although she does not regret having unschooled, she has to admit that she is in a "rotten place."
With a divorce in the works, and still one child not yet grown (now at high school) she admits that she should have seen this coming. She wishes she had been more prepared. "I'm getting older and jobs aren't falling into my lap," she worries.
"It's not like I didn't work at jobs though," she continues. She worked on projects, did some writing but she didn't take the time to nurture her own interests and career. "A big mistake," she warns.
I agree. When I was in the throes of unschooling when my kids were little, I made sure I worked on my own interests. I always took a course- whether it was photography or 'word' or singing. I called it taking care of my mental health. I volunteered a lot (and my kids came along with me) and created a group against the use of pesticides for cosmetic use. I produced a weekly radio show (for free), I wrote for little pay or for nothing- but that helped build up my resume and gave me confidence to move forward when the time came to seek employment.
Many other women do the same. Or they work part time or in the evenings or in the morning. Or they have a small business. I think it is very dangerous to NOT keep this in the fore when you decide to unschool.
It sucks that you can spend all your life doing the most important thing in the world, raising the next generation and in the end, end up with nothing.
Ultimately, you must take care of yourself because if you don't, how can you take care of your family? I am interested in reading your comments.
Monday, January 16, 2012
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